Who’s still up?
“Sometimes I just shut off my emotions, until I’m numb enough. I choose to do this, rather than be reminded of my feelings for you.”
—Numb (#25: April 24, 2014)
“I used to wonder how it must have felt to be loved by you, now I regret even wondering why I thought of that.”
—Regret (#24: April 23, 2014)
“Teach me how to forget you, the way you easily forgot about me. It seems to be easy for you, how memories don’t even cross your mind, when it never seem to leave mine.”
—Forget (#23: April 23, 2014)
“I was yours even before I met you.”
—Yours (#22: April 23, 2014)
"I think we need to talk about our expectations, if we want to make this thing work between us. I don’t know what you want, because you don’t seem to tell me."
"I don’t want anything."
"If you don’t want anything, then why are we even ‘dating?’”
"We’re dating, because I like you. And when I want you, it doesn’t mean that you have to expect me to want something from you."
"But I want to give myself to you. How do we work on that?"
“Those three words aren’t said enough.”
—I Love You (#21: April 19, 2014)
“I hope that the sun shines, wherever you may be, it helps you remind everything, and makes you hope that you should have stayed.”
—Reminder (#20: April 18, 2014)
“Making you stay perhaps was the biggest mistake I did, because I watched you suffer.”
—Stay (#19: April 18, 2014)
“I let you to be a part of my world until you became it. Then you left, and I was never quite the same again.”
—My World (#18: April 18, 2014)
“You made your way into my heart as well as through the lyrics of my favorite songs.”
—Favorite Song (#17: April 16, 2014)
I think that the best way to move on is to shut off most of the people I know, even my best friends.
I am tormented with the images of my past and it seems to be the weight that has been dragging me for a very long time now. I don’t want space, I want a field.
I know that it’s no wonder that things won’t be the same as they used to be, or how I wanted them to work out, but is it to bad to want something that will make me happy?
People leave me because I am me, and somehow I am starting to accept that fact; I’m just trying to work with it.
For now, I’m trying to do what my counselor has been telling me to do, avoid the people who I think should be avoided, cut off everyone who I think don’t deserve the apology in the first place and be contented with the change.
Yes, I think I’ll do that, for now.
“I look at you and see the next fifty years.”
—Future (#17: April 15, 2014)